Olivia Ponton stated she “by no means had an consuming dysfunction” previous to social media.
The 20-year-old social media star and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Rookie has settled into sharing a lot of her life on-line, having constructed an viewers of over 11 million followers on Instagram and TikTok mixed. And although a lot of her content material appears to attract consideration to her character, Ponton advised Emily Ratajkowski that the onslaught of public opinion she’s been dealing with has led her to have a troublesome relationship together with her physique.
“I by no means had an consuming dysfunction earlier than I had social media. I by no means considered it,” Ponton stated, reflecting on rising up in Florida, the place she wore bikinis year-round. “The second I began posting in a bikini, there have been so many unfavourable ideas surrounding my physique and I began hating the way in which I seemed. And it is loopy as a result of I by no means handled it rising up.”
Earlier than the celebrity she gained on the social media platforms, Ponton lived a traditional teenage life and shared that she was lively in sports activities, which helped her really feel comfy in her physique. Nevertheless, as soon as individuals on the web regained entry to her, all of them had “issues to say about my physique,” she defined — most of which had been unflattering.
“Hastily it was like oversexualization, males had been simply gross, women had been much more gross and I used to be like, what is going on on? I used to be simply doing it to be glad, there was no unfavourable thought in my mind after which rapidly it grew to become so unfavourable,” she stated.
“Within the early days of TikTok, there was the entire abandonment tradition factor and I bought canceled as a result of I did not have boobs,” she recalled of her first expertise of being bodyshamed on this scale. “That was actually one factor, and I used to be like, ‘If I am going and get a breast job now, I will get canceled as a result of I am going into cosmetic surgery.’ It is like you may’t actually win with the scenario.”
Ponton stated she centered on being “wholesome” on the time to take her thoughts off what others had been saying. Finally she overlooked what that even seemed wish to her.
“There was just one actually low half the place I simply did not eat, and that was most likely simply over a 12 months in the past. … I used to be simply making an attempt to eat, however I wasn’t consuming,” she stated. She defined that she observed that her relationship with meals naturally improved over time, “however then it form of relapsed previously like six months.”
Whereas she credit the eye to social media for the preliminary shift in her mindset, Ponton stated taking her modeling profession extra significantly and touring to Europe for jobs additionally had a huge impact.
“I will go to a becoming and, , not one of the garments are going to go down my hips,” she stated. “I assumed for a very long time that not consuming would make me thinner.”
She additionally believed that going “tremendous skinny” would then “remedy all my issues” — which she now describes as “so incorrect.” As an alternative, this pondering contributed to a serious drop in her vanity.
“I bought actually mad at myself and never in some form of self-loathing however like, ‘What is the matter with you, why cannot you simply get it collectively?’ manner,” she stated.
Now she’s decided to indicate herself some grace whereas persevering with to work to enhance her prospects.
“[I] I’d like to see my meals relationship get higher. I really feel like I am on an excellent path with that proper now, however constantly coming again to consuming all through the day and never feeling unhealthy about it,” stated the younger mannequin. “The top objective can be to excuse myself.”
For those who or somebody is battling an consuming dysfunction, give us a name National Association for Eating Disorders Hotline at 1-800-931-2237.
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